It's another Bank Holiday weekend, kids, and yet again, my family are hedging their bets and hosting a widely-publicised barbecue, thumbing their noses at the weather, Sod and his Law.
Alice and I are heading on down to the Island and spending the weekend in rural bliss...at least, that's the plan. There will be a range of exciting activities planned with military precision, including but not limited to beach-time, Cowes-time, garden-time, bbq-time and even a little Hammertime, depending on whether or not my Dad puts me in charge of music for the barbecue again.
We'll have to see.
Unexpected Malaysians
After attending a conference in Greenwich on Tuesday, I arrived home at about 9pm. At 2105, there was a knock at the door and a short girl holding a two-litre bottle of Coke was standing there with a tall Asian guy.
Her: "Hi, we found him in Blockbuster, and he was looking for here."
Him: "I have come to stay with Hwa Lin."
I didn't know anything about this. The guy is standing there with a yellow suitcase and an air ticket from Malaysia in his hand, as though he's just got off the plane.
Me: "He's at work and won't be back until about 6am."
The girl looks at me.
Her: "Our pizza's getting cold."
Me (feeling odd): "Do you have any contact details or proof that you know him?"
He hands me a card with my address on it, my housemate's name, and a UK mobile number.
Her: "Can I leave him with you then?"
Her boyfriend from the darkness: "Well he's not bloody coming home with us."
Me: "Okay."
Within five minutes of closing the front door behind him, he was trying to sell me something. I almost kicked him out, but then my housemate returned my calls and said he was coming home. Over the last two days I've had to kindly, then unkindly, and then flatly refuse to buy anything off him, and last night I had to tell him where to go (away).
Carnivorous Plant Update
Victoria appears to be in a period of after dinner contemplation. After catching herself a greenfly and what would appear to be one of the legion of little spiders (finally), she is generally chilling out, undoing the top button of her trousers and vegging in front of the TV. I've put paid to the idea of feeding her, which, to be honest, I wasn't all that keen on to begin with.
International, er, -ness.
A big hello to all readers in Japan.
Have fun, people, and don't forget to.
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