Is it me or has the world gone a bit mad?
More than usual, I mean.
As what D4D Lyle lovingly refers to as 'The Festering Season' comes around for 2003, we are, as we are every year, more demanding. Everything has to be bigger, better, cheaper, faster...or more unusual.
I remember, before I knew what the word 'virgin' meant, what my Dad told me. The finest cigars were rolled on the thighs of golden-skinned Cuban virgins. Maybe it was a sign of quality, a bit of an anecdote that made a certain brand more sellable, or just something for old men to perv about when wrapping their gormless and slavering lips around the cooler end of a bundle of dried up weeds.
Unusual gifts are very popular, right?
It's popular to be a bit crazy. (See: McBeal, Ally, a few thousand blog titles, and pretty much all teen culture since the 50s)
So, with madness and quirky gifts in combination, our global culture has led to the creation of 'Weasel Coffee'.
Some canny chaps in Vietnam have figured out just how fucking insane the world has become, and have started selling this product in the sure and certain knowledge that they will become very wealthy indeed.
My heart goes out to the Weasels.
Seriously guys. Give the weasels a fucking break.
Retailing at £17.95 for a small, 100g bag from Firebox, "Weasel Coffee" has a unique selling point - the beans have been ground by the ickle incisors and molars of Vietnamese weasels, and then REGURGITATED so that they can be sold to coffee lovers everywhere.
(in 'Curious Engineer Mode' my brain starts off on the calculation...for a 100g bag, how many times did the poor little weasel have to...you know? ...and then my sense of revulsion pulls me back)
Oh, don't worry. The grind is all sterilised and everything. It's meant to taste lovely.
This is all very well if the on-the-job weasels are given a quality healthcare scheme including dental, eye tests and a reasonable allowance for paternity leave, but an old argument flashes a tail in the murky depths of memory.
What went through the mind of the man who tried cows' milk for the first time?
"Oh, well, I know that the calves drink from those pink dangly things, and come to think of it, they look a bit like tits...oh, well, you never know..."
Now think about the weasels.
What the fuck happened there?