Café au Fait

Right, well, seeing as it's the first day back at that little place we all like to call 'work', the automated coffee machine (of your very dreams) did a sterling job and got you all your coffees before you'd ordered them, just as we all needed on this, the UberMonday of the year.

First up with the retrospective ordering is Gh, who was given a maximum-strength lemsip with a couple of extra soluble paracetamol thrown in for good measure. He probably knew that he would be needing that, so the magic is a little diminished.

Kate was given, at the latest count, twelve coffees. If someone could gently guide her to the big pouffy armchair...yes...the one mounted on the earthquake-proof rubber footing...then I'm sure her jitters won't be structurally damaging to this here café. Thanks.

A single espresso is the choix de jour of Mr. D, but the all-knowing coffee/time machine has given him two, purely because he needed that first one so badly.

Gordon, or someone very near him, has led him to retrospectively order the skinny latte he drank this morning. But with two espressos. Thankfully one of the blogosphere's leading connosieurs has not been put off the important things in life by his Christmas shenanigans.

A large latté has been sent backwards in time to arrive on Karen's desk at 9am this morning. Nice to see Uborka up and running again, isn't it?

In a tea-y twist, Miss Greenfairy had a black Darjeeling spun through spacetime for her Monday morning fix, and seems to be up for starting some sort of teeth-crunching retro sweet exchange. All systems go.

Those three café au Ks that Krissa had earlier were of course down to this here temporal percolator, so we'd best order them now, or there will be a paradox, causing a horrible rift in the spacetime continuum, and monsters with eighty-three tentacles will want coffees as well, and this just isn't that kind of joint. Hope you enjoyed them, m'dear.

Dave wants Brandy, which means that he must have already drunk it this morning when it arrived. Behold his hardcore alcoholism.

Right, that should sort it all out. Hopefully no major coffee-caused paradoxes will rip the earth in twain before the end of the working day. If you do want any coffees in the regular, traditional, forwards-in-time type way, then feel free to help yourself to what you want, and everyone can now tuck into the bagels and muffins.

Phew. Time crisis averted.
See you next Monday?

Welcome back to the blogosphere (or whatever you want to call it), people.