In the Jingle-Jangle Morning...

Coffee up, ladies and gentlemen.

Welcome once again to the Coffee Shop of your very dreams; a warm, convivial and above all free café where everybody knows your name (assuming they can read), there is no such thing as 'a sneezer', and the Prime Percolator, Fine Filter, Smooth Operating Coffee Machine morphs into whatever is needed to provide you, the customer, with whatever you desire every Monday, the most caffeine-hungry day of the week.

Sit yourself down in your favourite sofa, grab a muffin and hang on...

As we operate on first come, first served here, there's a pint for Spengy, he didn't specify, but the Coffee Machine knows he likes his beer, so there is one of both lager and premium filter coffee. Out of the same dispenser in the machine comes another pint, this time of Java, for gh, who was in work TOO GODDAMN EARLY.
Like me.

Out of a slot that smells seductively of the orient, bringing to mind tall clippers in spring gales, sitar notes in the evening breeze and monkeys harassing the tea pickers comes a steamy, spicy chai for Annie Mole.

Gordon brooks no cliché in asking for two muffins (they are free, you know), a chunk of Rocky Road, and...a skinny latte. You could skip a mouthful of muffin and have a half-decent coffee, matey, but it's your call. Hope the Monday is working out okay.

The Green Fairy *is feeling a little tender, hence running the Cool Coffee Creator at minimum volume today. She gets her Silent Silk, and water and Alka Seltzer. If it's alcohol induced, then there will be food in a minute as well. You can nick a chip from Karen.*

Good job we took Marjorie on, as there are now big gaping slots in the Supreme Coffee Maker for food as well. This is, after all, The Café of Your Very Dreams, so a bit of a fry up is no problem. For Karen gets herself a full on, multicultural breakfast, including but not limited to fried potatoes, gammon, eggs, pickled onion, beans, tomato, toast, chips, cumberland sausages, ketchup and piccalilli, all of the neverending-plate variety. If anyone's hungry there's enough here for everyone. I'm not looking at Gordon. I'm not. Skinny latte. Tut. Anyway, a big latte for Karen as well.

Dave gets a rich and creamy hot chocolate with a bar of Dairy Milk to dip in, as his body is stil recovering from last week.

Lolly wants something strong, so once again the bin receptacle on the side of the Coffee machine swings ponderously open, and the echoing drip of espresso can be heard within. Good luck.

Miss Shivery gets her chilly little icebound hands on a toasty minty mocha...most warming, and judging by the weather over there, badly needed. Pix has slipped in an email request for vast amounts of strong black coffee to help with the shock and bandwidth worries resulting from the newfound and explosive fame of The Shoe Project...no problem! Have a jugful.

That's yer lot for today, although I suspect that there will be a few latecomers, and once again Krissa is probably dozing gently on her favourite sofa by the fire, unthinkingly camouflaged and currently without coffee. All things can of course be remedied. Sorry for the lack of late service last week, dear people.

I'll just take a...*muh*...single...espresso.