Loads Of No Snow

Yesterday was exciting in terms of post. A book I recently...parted ways with arrived, fresh and shiny new, from home as a gesture of understanding the times I'm going through, and by the time I'd got home, someone had signed for a package. My Mum, worried about the Big Killy Snows of Death rushing towards the United Kingdom, had ordered me some pyjama trousers in time for the chill, so I would still be warm in my bed. The bed which, incidentally, is covered with a tog 13 duvet, in a room with an electric fireplace, in a double-glazed house with cavity insulation, with gas central heating.

So apart from the pending excitement of Arctic Doom, last night still looked like being a little quiet. I made myself some kick-ass winter stew, watched 'A Beautiful Mind' for the first time, and played the greenhamster-lent Prince of Persia. Oh, and there was, of course, the obligatory pre-snowstorm phone conversation with my Mum...

Me: Seeing as I live in the same town, even if the snow is deep I expect I'll still have to go to work - if the buses don't run I can just walk.

Mum: Have you got enough warm clothing?

Me: Well, yes, you know - I have those two massive fleeces, hardcore trekking boots, bright yellow arctic coat...I'll be all right.

Mum: Have you got a warm hat?

Me: I've got a baseball cap...that'll do.

Mum: Gloves?

Me: Er, no, actually I haven't got any.

Mum: I'm a bit worried that you haven't got any gloves.

(continues in same vein for a while)

Mum: What about trousers?

Me: Jeans.

Mum: They'll get wet. Tuck them into your boots.

Me: (warming to the subject) Well, if it's really deep, I haven't got any waterproof trousers.

Mum: I knew it! I did offer...(starts laughing)

Me: Yes, I remember...it was one of your better pitches to try and get more stuff to order from the catalogue...(starts laughing)...your retail addiction!

Mum: Well I was right...

Me: Mum, the reason 'You'll need them if you ever want to go for a walk in the rain' just seemed a bit odd at the time...

(George the Parrot starts laughing down phone from Mum's other shoulder, Mum finds this hilarious and laughs even more)

Despite living here, despite earning my living here, despite having my life and a few of my friends dotted around the area, working, cooking, playing, writing, drinking, living and doing it independently, all a good four hours, two buses, two trains and one boat from where I grew up, there are some times that the miles don't matter, and you're earthed by something outside of distance.

So sorry if you were looking forward to snow, or a day off work or school today. The Arctic Front sweeping across the UK was met with a standing high temperature zone expanding outwards from Hertfordshire, which in turn was centred on Hatfield, and a toasty-warm engineering graduate in new pyjamas.