Well I wanted to bring you a photo of the Uberpercolator's real life counterpart in full fling, but the fates have conspired. It was a nice little shot of the point at which it is done with the bulk of the coffee and builds up steam until it climaxes with a noise akin to a ring wraith being dropped from a low flying 747...which, living in the houseshare I do, gives me great pleasure at 7.30am.
But anyway.
Orders for coffee please, to be served...sorry delivered wherever you are, as the Coffee Shop of Your Very Dreams not only failed it's MOT, I am now being investigated for a little temporal disturbance around Pompeii. I could lose my license, but in order to keep the franchise alive I have hired a young gentleman by the name of Kaffene, The God Of Coffee Deliveries. He's a minor deity, and has been badgering me for a job for months as apparently he hasn't got much to deify-over...his appearance is similar to that of Mercury or Hermes, only he's dressed in black.
Stylish.
Monday Morning Coffee; Delivered.
We shall put a girdle about the Earth in forty minutes, but she'll have to breath in first.
Er, hi
I have a funny feeling that this morning we will be entertaining a couple of people from my past who will have absolutely no clue as to what is going on.
Don't worry. I'm still this mad, but this isn't as mad as it looks.
Go with the flow.
Orders please.
Hurry with the coffees. I need at least 5 to get me started.
I have writer's... thing... um.... block, like other people have... er... um... some blocky thing.
So, coffee with a psycholaxative effect, perhaps an espresso with a drop of lysergic in it?
I'll have a caffenated meerkate please. (and bugger the spelling I don't care)
A meerkate? Does she know about this?
I'd like a big mug of dark, syrupy hot chocolate please, with marshmallows, crumbled cookie pieces, whipped cream, chocolate sprinkles and a Flake. Thank you.
Mocha valencia if you please, with lashings of whipped cream and chocolate flakes on top...
Hot chocolate... loads, and very hot!! Still not completely warmed up from my exciting camping trip.
(and please, no marshmallow thingies... or at least not IN the chocolate, there are some English things i really can't get used to.)
Good Morning.
I shall follow the trend.
Hot chocolate with squirty cream please.
I would like some punk coffee please. Its like normal coffee, but the beans are picked by punks specially flown over from Harlow to Costa Rica.
Punk is the new black y'know.
mmmm I'll have a macchiato please with one package Sugar In The Raw.
*shares scones with all (cinnamon)*
i'll take an iced raspberry mocha, s'il vous-plait, because we're finally having a day that does not equate to frozen death. hurrah!
...and how well timed is that?
Hmmm?
:-)
I'll take a very large shot chocolate, please. I'm determined to get everyone I know addicted to the stuff -- a big steamy mug of intensely strong hot chocolate, with the added magical bonus of a shot of espresso. With a side of StuartIsMyHeroLikeSeriouslyYo, but I think you already came through on that one. (grin)
I'll have a glass of milk, warmed through and laced with cinnamon and nutmeg plus a whiskey chaser.
Thanking you.
I have just noticed that you appear to have turned the name of my weblog into the name of a coffee shop. Being a generous sort of person, I do not mind this - indeed, I am flattered - but I will be demanding 25% of the proceeds.
Yours sincerely,
Vaughan Simons
CEO, Coffee Wherever You Are
"A frothing mug with a side order of obfuscation"
:-)
Damn damn damn.
Well, all the coffee was free, but the staff costs were £2.50, so you owe me 62.5p