This is a topic upon which much has been written, much continues to be written and will no doubt be written about until humanity either realises that talking about it so much is pointless, or evolves into something that doesn’t have sex any more – which strikes you as more likely?
A lot of it is rubbish, concerning rubber bands from Mars, what to wear and not to wear, how to attract attention, chat-up lines, playing hard-to-get and the like. Well, there may be truth in all of it or none of it, so I'm going to stick to facts.
"Oh really!" I hear you cry, "do enlighten us, O your venerable spent-ages-at-university-single-ness," with more than a hint of sarcasm in your voice. Well, you'd be right in a way, I could spout shit about sexual chemistry, what men find attractive, do some research on what some women I know find attractive and hash the lot of it together and present you with a creditable self-help guide to getting into the pants of your desired target at university. But you've been reading either Just Seventeen or Loaded (or both) and their many competitors for a number of years if you have any interest in the subject at all, so I won't do that. It wouldn’t be of any use to you apart from as revision, and trust me, at university you won’t want to do any more revision than you have to.
So how am I going to get you to keep reading if there's nothing in here about hypnotism, how to be a bastard to attract women, or whether or not cleavage to die for is a must-have in the pulling stakes?
Here goes....
The following is based on facts. Well, things that might be facts, anyway. They seem to be facts, but there are always exceptions to every rule, and if you follow these steps to no avail you can at least be happy in the knowledge that you gave it your best shot.
I will assume, (this is the easy bit) that you don't want to give yourself serious personality surgery or alter your appearance or lifestyle in any way. You just sit there, be yourself and relax.
The only thing that this fact-based 'system' revolves around is statistics and probability. Maths is a subject most people will avoid if it means walking over hot coals, but there is no maths involved.
Proposal One: You will be attracted to some people at university.
Proposal Two: You will not be attracted to some people at university.
Proposal Three: Some people will find you, your appearance and your personality attractive.
Proposal Four: Some people will not find you, your appearance or your personality attractive.
Point: The likelihood of One and Three coming together, i.e. you finding someone who is attracted to you who you find attractive as well, is increased depending on the number of people that you meet.
You could work out the maths depending on how many people out of a hundred you find attractive and your own attractiveness rating which will probably involve doing some sort of survey, but you're sliding gently towards the end of the spectrum where your conversation is likely to revolve around this sort of thing and people will walk miles to avoid talking to you.
Just think that the more people you meet, the higher the chance that you'll end up in relationship bliss whilst people around you dive for buckets and other vomit-receiving receptacles.
You want that, don't you?
Be sociable. Go out. Talk to random people. Go on a social with a society or sports club you've joined, even if you don't know anyone. That's the point of these things. By the end of the night you'll have confessed your darkest secrets to the society Treasurer in a corner of the nightclub and let slip that you really fancy the arse off so-and-so.
Without wanting to start venturing off into anecdotal boredom, one afternoon I was quietly working at my desk at some maths or other brain-churning sewage, and looking out of my window across the concourse I noticed a kitchen of girls holding a sign to the window with 'Get Your Kit Off' on it. I responded with 'You First'...and a short, hastily scribbled dialogue ensued. I went out with them that night on a social for the Real Ale Society – (the fact that none of us had joined didn't really seem to matter) and ended up being barred for life from one of Leamington Spa's more prominent drinking establishments for snogging in the ladies toilets. Luckily the barring was more of a spur-of-the-moment threat, and I was able to drink there in my Second Year without being turfed out in an embarrassing fashion…but ANYWAY.
Do the scary thing. It's fun.
The more perspicacious of you (amongst whom are the people that know what 'perspicacious' means) will have figured out that putting the 'meet more people principle aside, there might be things you can do to increase the odds of other people finding you attractive etc etc. For details on these things, see popular publications 'Just Seventeen' and 'Loaded', available at most newsagents.
You can tell which magazine you ought to buy from the person on the front. If you want tips on how to go out with girls, then buy the one with the semi-clothed, lightly oiled woman on the cover. If you want tips on boys, then buy the one with the semi-clothed un-oiled woman on the cover.
Take some time over your choice to avoid embarrassment.
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