A Hawaiian, a Pepperoni, a Vegetarian (with Walnuts) - don't forget the garlic bread and the free bottle of coke..

Right, so I've just been over to the lakes on my new motorbike. All is good with it, it does what I want it to - good milage, lots of luggage space, reliable. It has two aluminium flightcases as panniers, and another one bolted to the luggage rack for more storage space. It's everything a chap heading off round the continent would want - but..

I'm noticing a trend. You see this bike is a Honda Dominator- ita a big off road beasty. It's a big bike, it looks really imposing. People look at it and think "Coo, that's huge for a bike, much bigger than that little sports bike next to it." It sounds impressive, its got 644cc of single cylinder thumpyness to get out of it's twin exhausts. People think "Coo, that sounds like a really meaty bike comming round the corner.." I ride it and it's got enough grunt to burn up most cars, and surprise some of the sport bikers at the lights.

All in all it *should* be instilling a sense of awe into people, making me into some kind of motorbiker chick magnet or at least getting a little look of envy from people.

So why in gods name do people keep asking me to bring them pizza and fries? I mean the other night I pull up at the traffic lights and some pissed up twonk stumbles over and offers me a fiver for one of the pizza's I *must* have in the box. This weekend, I turn up in the lakes to see some friends and the first thing they say is "Did you remember the free garlic bread?" I go to ambleside and get some odd looks from a group of bikers and I can see what's going on in their head..

"We know it looks like a big bike. We know it sounds like a big bike. We can see that no pizza's went into the little box on the back. Do we wave our hand at the biker, or do we ask for a pizza?"

I am not a pizza delivery boy!