So due to my monumental failure to successfully woo[1] any nice women in ages, I have come to the conclusion that women are attracted to guys who lack integrity. Now I have taken pride in my integrity for many years - till now...
After a discussion about women and how they like bastards[3], I have decided to become one. So after a little inventive discussion with Jess down the boozer I now have an ex-wife from Aberdeen with two kids and a wife in Bristol with one kid.
Not bad that. Four pints and I've had sex at least three times with two women from different parts of the country, gotten hitched twice and in the eyes of a lot of people round these ere parts I'm the biggest bastard on the block. Mind you in terms of woo success rate it's a big improvement - even if it's all virtual..
[1] A term applied to convincing a potential lovemate that you're a good bet through gentle courting. Not to be confused with pulling[2].
[2] A term applied to blatantly trying to get a shag in a pub somewhere when wearing the old beer goggles.
[3] This was the term I used to describe men with no integrity after about four pints of loverly ale.
Virtual sex is better than no sex.
I think there might be a few people out there interested to find out how you get on...
I'm incapable of being a bast! I'm just too damn nice, damnit!
Has [2] been taken down?
Or shall I get me bins?
'S'all right - it's me medical condition.
get it now ...
aquire a guitar, a beard and a few tattoos.
Shit! I have to grow a beard as well?
bugger.
or overly long sideburns
Hi, I'm an American who thanks you for defining "pull." I've heard that slang on some British TV shows I like, and wasn't quite sure what it meant. And now I know! Thanks :)