Memory...
I am mindful of an outstanding and beautiful piece of writing which I read not too long ago...before I met the woman who had written it.
"What most prepares me for the world...is the benefit of knowing the difference between fitting in, and fitting into yourself."
It struck me as a candid and truly given piece of writing, rare enough despite the blogging revolution. What a person, thought I, could live through such complexity and change, and see the simple lesson, no matter how difficult it was to learn?
Now I've never emigrated before. I've travelled a little, in a scratching-the-surface sort of way, but I've never moved out of the UK.
Idle Thought...
The guidebook I bought prior to my trip to New York is, possibly, the worst piece of tourist or guide literature I think I have ever read.
Even before I went, I was pretty sure that New York was one of the most exciting, vibrant, and lively cities on the face of the planet, and my enthusiasm was best measured on a galactic scale. But somehow, as I devoured the guidebook, I felt a slight waning of interest and excitement. This was a subtle thing, but built up over the course of the book.
Examples:
New York Aquarium: Dark halls connect the aquariums, which feature sea creatures in a fairly interesting display.
Bloomingdales: Big, brash and busy, this is probably the most-visited department store in town and sells everything from make-up to mattresses.
Macy's: The world's largest department store is also the most difficult to get around. Skip Macy's...
The Strand: ...be prepared to dig a little in the cramped, stuffed aisles.
Earth: Mostly Harmless.*
* One of these is not from the Guide to New York, but continues in the same vein.
This sort of gentle, disparaging description of the city kind of took the edge off things. Of course I just stopped reading it, and my excitement took off again, which is good, because New York knocked my socks into an elliptical orbit of Saturn.
Nevertheless, it has a recommended list of books and films to do with New York in the back. Included in the movie list are Annie Hall, Breakfast at Tiffany's, French Connection, King Kong...and the book list has The Gangs of New York, New York Trilogy, American Psycho, Invisible Man, and The Beautiful and Damned...
The Project...
I need some sort of programme. I need....An American Adjustment and Adaptation Package.
It can contain books, films, music, food, mental exercises...anything.
Suggestions?
You want "Dave Gormans Googlewack Adventure". I read it on the plane over and it's perfect for an Brits introduction to Amercia.
You also want Bill Bryson, "notes from a big country"
find an ex-pat group in the city. you will miss your brit culture. no matter how similar america and the uk appear - there are vast culture differences. i highly recommend you find a way to stay close to your culture in anyway possible. there are tons of brits in NYC so you will not have a problem.
I recommend "The Intrepid New Yorker: A Guide to Turning New York City into a Manageable Small Town"; you can get this at the Strand. Good advice for living here. Also, "New York Eats (More)", which is both a guide to finding and buying raw materials for cooking and good takeout and also a good introduction to the city's various neighborhoods.
Visit any Barnes & Noble and look at the shelf of guidebooks. A lot of these have great specialized info on NYC and how to live here.
The book "Low Life: Lures and Snares of Old New York" by Luc Sante will give you a great picture of our fair city back in the day, as well as casting an interesting light on what it has become. Also the PBS documentary "New York" is a great history; check out the website at http://www.pbs.org/wnet/newyork/
Also, go as many places as you can, preferably on foot. Explore the back ways, go off the beaten track. Good cheap ethnic food is not to be found in touristy areas. On the other hand, the view from the Empire State Building is only available from the Empire State Building.
Most New Yorkers have geographical prejudices; ignore them. I have a friend who hasn't been above 14th Street in twenty years and doesn't know what he's missing.
One of my jobs in NYC was driving a furniture delivery truck. I don't recommend such a career, but it did open my eyes to the variety of people and neighborhoods.
There is a LOT of stuff available for free. Seek it out. Good stuff in the parks. Good views from the ride on the Staten Island Ferry.
Take the A train to Fort Tryon Park. Great views of the Hudson River, plus the Cloisters.
Speaking of which, the admission fee at the Metropolitan Museum of Art or the Cloisters is a recommended donation, not a fixed price. There were many weekends when I was broke that I would pay 25 cents to get in the Cloisters and then sit in the gardens and read. A marvelous peaceful break from the hustle and bustle.
That's what springs to mind. Welcome to our world.
um, you know you have a whole pack of personal tour guides, right?
also, another brit in the pack's immediate circle? i promise you, you'll not lack for steak and kidney pie or a fellow brit to go nuts over the footie with.
we'll take care of you, don't worry!
You'll have no problem finding your way, people do it every day. Besides, you've got a built in family to ease the transition.
That said, were I to present you with a "Welcome to the USA" package, included would be:
1) One hot dog, all the way, preferably procurred from a street vendor;
2) A copy of the invaluable book 'Speak American : A Survival Guide to the Language and Culture of the U.S.A.' by Dileri Borunda Johnston;
3) Two DVDs - 'Gone With The Wind' and 'To Kill a Mockingbird';
4) Two tickets to a NY Yankees game;
5) A well-worn copy of Walt Whitman's Leaves of Grass;
6) The latest issues of the 'National Enquirer' and 'TV Guide';
and
7) Ice cube trays.
Cheers guys, that means a lot.
But in the intervening couple of weeks (wishful thinking) before I come...any other recommendations?
Film/book/music/food/mental exercise-wise?
Oh, where to begin! I married a wonderful guy from Suffolk (isn't there a limerick about that?), and I can promise you there is lots of fun in store. Cross-cultural marriages are truly an adventure. I still remember the first time my in-laws told me I was "full of it". Apparently, that's a compliment in England. I would recommend that you not say that to anyone in New York.
My husband's observations about American culture are...
1. Everyone is louder and blunter.
Apparently, English people are subtle and tend to avoid open confrontation. You might want to take some assertiveness training.
2. The food is much richer (read: fattening).
My husband lived on Immodium for a while. He still carries one in his wallet at all times.
3. The birds, bugs, and spiders are much larger here.
Not much you can do about this one. My husband once killed a spider with a two by four. I recommend calling the Orkin man. You'll find him in the yellow pages.
4. Traffic lights are in the wrong place.
When we first started dating, I could not believe the number of red lights he ran. Turns out, English traffic lights are at the side of the road, whereas American ones are often ABOVE the road. Do be careful.
5. American potato chips suck.
I have to agree with him there. English chips (I mean, crisps!) come in so many wonderful flavors that you just can't get over here. Stock up!
I could go on and on, but you're probably bored already. But, since you're English, you would be too polite to tell me. hehe.
My husband loves it over here. He loves the vast open spaces and the much bigger opportunities at work and the less restrictive atmosphere. And the weather. According to him, it rains in England almost every day.
I hope you love it here as much as he does.
Here's a hilarious book written by an ex-pat who spent a year working for Conde Nast in NY. It will teach you what *not* to do!
How to Lose Friends & Alienate People
by Toby Young
http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ASIN/0306812274/qid=1090545452/sr=2-1/ref=sr_2_1/103-1883323-3800612
Remember John Cleese's statement, when Clinton was in power:
There are 3 differences between the English and Americans:
1. We speak English
2. When we host a World Series, we invite the world
3. When we are introduced to our sovereign, we only go down* on one knee
* I understand this had some vague reference to one Monica Lewinsky
As someone who has adapted to 2 different cultures Australian->US and now Australian->UK here are some suggestions:
1) Book - Bill Bryson - Notes from a Big Country - also possibly Made In America though I have not read this one.
2) The movie Mickey Blue Eyes - I know it is a comedy but if you ever go to Brooklyn it will help you appreciate some of the cross cultural issues. And the accents :)
3) If you like history - Gotham: A History of New York City to 1898 by Wallace and Burrows
4) Read the New York Times (and the Village Voice once you arrive)
5) Movie - "Bull Durham" for the love of the religion of baseball. I use the term "religion of baseball" as its from the movie not out of disrespect to anyone. Also Costner's "Field of Dreams" about baseball reflects an infamous part of baseballs history but also Americans love for the game.
6) Watch something by Woody Allan though I can't think of a good suggestion immediately. He is a quintessential New Yorker and captures Jewish angst well. Amazon recommends Manhattan.
7) If you can stand to watch them alone some classic romantic comedies with New York in them - When Harry Met Sally, You've Got Mail, Sleepless in Seattle.
I'm sure I'll think of more and add them in a later reply.
which feature sea creatures in a fairly interesting display.
Classic. Who writes this stuff?
Stuart, if you havent already read it, Ragtime by EL Doctorow is a fantastic tour at breakneck speed through that era, a lot of it set in Manhattan, & Hunting Mr Heartbreak by Jonathan Raban is a great travel book which starts off in New York both guaranteed antidotes to the bland guidebook.
if there is any chance of you finding yourself in an american office, see Office Space. it's a comedy but it is oh-so-true.
that's all the helpful information that i have other than a friend of mine from london once commented on the gargantuan size of the steak knives one is given in steakhouses. even if you order the fish.
oh! get a bigger bladder while you're at it. all our drinks are bigger (except beer).
I suffer from a bit of Anglophilia. Some of my favorite places when I was in NYC:
Tea & Sympathy is a cozy little place on Greenwich Avenue, good for full-on afternoon tea, welsh rarebit, bangers and mash.
A Salt & Battery (http://www.asaltandbattery.com/indexb.html) offers varieties of fish and chips. I even had a fried Mars bar there (the Brit kind, not the American).
Myer's of Keswick is a great little shop for groceries "from home." They make their own sausages, and after eating one of their sausage rolls, I just about died with bliss. Also a good source for Cadbury Milk Tray and other candies.
As for New York items:
I found that I used a variety of book/magazine guides. Village Voice, Time Out, others would say New Yorker or New York. If you're at all bookish, there are bookstores everywhere, and The Strand is a great place.
Try Calvin Trillin's book Tepper Isn't Going Out. I haven't read it yet, but my husband laughed himself silly - it's a very New York kind of novel.
'Wichcraft is a good place for yummy sandwiches.
Candela, in the Union Square area, is a very romantic restaurant.
You'll always have the delicious problem of there being too many things to do. I think one of the most important things to remember is to never lose your sense of adventure, to be willing to explore and try something new. Even in such a big city people get into their habits - like if it's not within 3 blocks of their apartment, it's far. Or never venturing outside their part of the city. I went uptown, downtown, midtown, west, east and into Queens and Brooklyn. Eventually you'll have the city streets in your brain (though I always carried pocket city and subway maps). You'll know it's okay to still walk across the street when the light is flashing. And you'll be with the woman you love, so everything will be infinitely more wonderful. Do the goofy stuff - like going to the top of the Empire State Building at night so you can see the city in all its brassy, brazen glory.
Now I'm a bit homesick myself. *grin*
Oh, I have been, briefly, into the Bronx (for baseball) and to Staten Island.
Oh right - take a ride on the roller coaster at Coney Island. There's the annual Mermaid Parade. The Halloween Parade downtown.
And as a librarian I would be remiss in not telling you to go vist the New York Public Library on 42nd Street. A beautiful building that's also a thriving resource. Get a library card and use it. I didn't feel like I had really settled in until I got one - though that's the library nerd in me.
Other things I'm remembering:
Cupcake Cafe. Beautiful, delicious cupcakes.
Chat 'n' Chew. A fun, casual restaurant - also near Union Square. Love their mac 'n' cheese.
A book I'm reading right now is Michael Chabon's The Amazing Adventures of Kavalier & Clay. Another good book with New York as its setting.
Wow. Lots of helpful advice. The only thing I can add is to start eating larger meals so your stomach can adjust. Also, come visit Canada. Honeymoon? We like to pretend we're British, esp. on the west coast. We have Queen Liz on all our currency - she looks great on a quarter. It's like she's had botox!