Text to my sense-of-humour-twin, Somewhere, Australia:
S: FAT PEOPLE ARE HARDER TO KIDNAP
B: After great sex, she lies stroking his penis. He asks: do you want more sex? She says: No. Just admiring your penis-I used to have one just like it
S: I feel sure I warned you about Australians and that sort of thing. Don't worry, I won't tell a soul. Apart from maybe Adam, because he'll be pleased to see you when you get back.
And, because I've lost track of his progress:
S: Where the hell are you, anyway?
I predict:
B: Fucking Australia, where do you think?
...when he gets back to his phone.
Viva The Communications Revolution, Comrade.
Update: Damn. I was wrong.
B: I'm in Sydney, mate. Don't you read your emails?
Ah.
Um.
I will...soon. Honest. When I leave this office...and all the blocks disappear.
Any antipodean readers of a Sydneyan nature want to take this guy out for a drink?
wahey! 'sydney' and 'drink' in the same sentence and my ears perk up.
if you email me with a contact number for your friend my fellow inebriates and i would love to take him out!