You Can Hear It In My Accent When I Talk

Krissa and I, it has to be said, are revelling in the sheer magnificence of being around each other without a looming deadline where one of us has to head to an airport.

New York and I, on the other hand, are circling each other warily, like people at a party who recognise each other across the room when they're mingling, but neither of us is quite sure of names, how we know each other, or how to proceed. We are all smiles, all courtesy.

Well, I'm all courtesy anyway.

I have to admit I am wandering around the place with my mind on anything but the mundane, because even the everyday routines of food shopping and crossing the road are new to me, and a small part of my brain is sitting up with its chin on its hand looking at everything thinking, 'How does that work?', 'Why does that happen? and 'How much is that in real money?'.

Americans: be not offended, for I am but a mere newcomer, and wish to articulate my confusion and surprise at a few things...

Brits and everyone else: Check this out:

The prices on the shelves aren't what you pay at checkouts. The tax is added onto the total price afterwards. It is as though the shops think you'd be scared to find out the real price, and want to entice you into a decision so that when you get to the till you'll be terribly embarrassed and too afraid to turn around and change your mind. Bargain racks of nice round numbers...$1! $1!...become a change-scrabbling $1.09.

It'll be one of those things you get used to, I imagine.

The process for crossing the road in New York goes as follows:

Approach interchange. Observe the status of the crossing sign and take action accordingly.

-White walking figure: Cross the road, being careful to avoid all the traffic which is turning into your road and aiming at your legs. This is, apparently, when it is 'safe' to cross.

- Flashing red hand raised in 'stop' motion: Cross the road with a vaguely brisk loping walk to give the impression to any watching motorists that you are proceeding with expediency to everyone's benefit, despite the fact that no traffic is moving anywhere on the interchange.

- Red hand raising in 'stop' gesture: Cross the road, taking care to look left and right before stepping out into the street to avoid traffic, which traditionally moves slowly enough to allow pedestrians a sporting chance a la Frogger. If you pull off a particularly impressive crossing, you will be rewarded with a free hot dog or knish by the nearest street vendor.

People look at me oddly in shops. Sometimes I get the impression staff keep talking to get me to speak again, and each time they throw me a glance that says, 'Is he taking the piss, or is he serious?'. I have already moved away from the phrase, 'Much obliged,' due to the severity of the looks from checkout staff and passersby, who look at me with the kind of distrust I think you only get in a country so beset by reality TV. I'm some sort of entertainment. Mind you, the service at bars, restaurants and corner vendors is much better than average. One guy even called me 'my good man' with a wide grin. I refrained from poking him with my umbrella.

All in all, New York is amazing. I could happily wander around all day with my mouth open if I didn't think someone would shove a flyer into it, and getting used to this town is something I'm looking forward to and already enjoying.

Krissa and I are getting married on Monday.