The Caption Camp: Week Three

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Everyone is balanced precariously on the rims of their seats as, in the darkness, a hush steals over the audience and continues down amongst the seats and steals their wallets and purses for good measure because once hushes start stealing they can be a real pain in the arse to stop.
But the audience doesn't care.

After a few complaints to the manager about how the seats don't fold down properly, everyone sits fidgeting silently in the gloom, eyeing their competitors with slitty hating glances until they share eye contact and everyone is smiles and deference. In the background a hush is read its rights. It's just your average awards ceremony.

Ladies and Gentlepersons, it is time again (a collective breath from the audience) to announce the winner of last week's Autoblography Caption Competition!
The competition was intense, with over 26 entries from around the globe, and many competitors coming up with multiple captions to try and kick their rivals into touch. But the time has come, as many a walrus will tell you, for the winner to be announced...

"In the case that your erection lasts more than four hours,
you should consult a doctor immediately, otherwise
the prescriptive effects might start to spead to other parts of the body."

So a big well-done to She-Dork and a round of applause, please, as she takes the mantle from John for the rest of the she takes the...mantle...John, give her the mantle...JOHN! Thank you. That wasn't so hard now, was it?

And on with the next one!

Here is the picture which welcomes your creative input this week..we desire...a...a..a CAPTION!


The guy that took literally the honor the flag section in the citizenship pledge.

I know its predictable, but...

"In the case that your erection lasts more than four hours, you should consult a doctor immediately, otherwise the prescriptive effects might start to spread to other parts of the body."

Whaddya mean "what are you doing?" what kind of stupid question is that?


The giant slide down the pole, wondering how many teeny people he could squash with one foot.

I know there's a whisky at the top of that sign. If..only... I ... could ... reach.. it!

Sorry officer.... I just wanted to make a waistcoat to match my shoes.

Benny soon realised it had been a mistake to order the giant pogo-stick.

She can't get the mantle if I'm blocking the pole!

What? This ISN'T the Statue of Liberty? Damn that guidebook!

Shimmy up the greased pole of justice, freedom and liberty for all.


Boy, flag football sure is challenging.

I bet I can be the first one to catch the new year's ball from here.

uh, ok, where's this fireman people promised?

"Those zombies won't be able to get me up here!"

"From this height they all look like ants, hang on... they are ants. Damn this absinthe".


"Bros' comeback 'Giant Pogostick' tour hits the US."

aaaaargggh.. kill it.. KILL IT!!!

um.. I'm not scared of spiders, really I'm not.. I just.. er.. like flagpoles? yes, thats it.. I just LIKE flagpoles!

As the NYPD circled beneath him, it dawned on Joe that flagpoles don't really make the best gettaway routes..

Has the tiger turned to butter yet?

I claim this land in the name of King George (Bush).

There's a bit of a nip in the air tonight...

Oooh, Birdman, I didn't know you were that way inclined.

"Who's the midget, now, bitch!"

"Well, YOU try climbing it with a big yellow bottle between your knees!"

"i told you that those blue smarties had side-effects."

"The Japanese Hole-Punching Team's US Tour was a resounding success with the fans."

On reflection, the rush job done of hiring Spiderman's body double seemed a mistake.

David Blaine said of his rival "I could do that with my hands tied around behind my back"


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