Post 670

In which Stuart declares that comments are fucked and that he himself is an Agnostic Republican, but not in that way.

Well. An awful lot is going on.
Charles and Camilla are to marry, and my comments aren't working.

I shall now try and illustrate why the two are so obviously connected. I don't know why or how. This is stream of thought stuff.

Everyone is arguing about what the titles should be after their marriage and when, or if, Charles ascends to the throne. I think this is pretty rubbish. The wife of the Prince of Wales is the Princess of Wales. To say that Camilla shouldn't have this title to show respect for Diana is like suggesting that if or when Charles gets to the crown (out of his mother's cold, dead fingers), that he shouldn't call himself 'King' out of respect for his poor dead Grandfather. They are titles, to be awarded and inherited and held by people. They are not the people who have held them.

The issue surrounding the fact that both parties in the proposed marriage are divorced...this is the bit where, were I talking to you directly, I would begin to stutter because I will want to say three or four things at once. The entire Church of England was founded so that one man could divorce and remarry. No matter what you thought of the fact that Henry VIII showed a few distasteful decisions after that, you'd think the CofE would have themselves straight on that by now.

While I think that there is a lot to be said for not having a Royalty, and I myself on occasion have started to say some of it, I think the royals should stop this public-pleasing charade over titles and whatnot. It's like someone standing on stage and doing what the people in the audience want based on the noises they're making. "Noooooooboooboooboooooooo oh oh ohaaaaaah! Yes! You're getting warmer."

However, they obviously aren't totally stupid, because while they have to respect public opinion and be seen to be modern and progressive and such and the like they fear the erudite and eloquent responses that the readers of this site provide on a daily basis, hence, on the day that the announcement is made, MI5, fully aware that I am out of the country and cannot undo their dastardly fiddling with my server in London, have slipped into the crude mechanical workings of the site and slipped a software spanner in the works, hence blocking all of you from having an informed and measured discussion which might head in a Republican* direction.

I rest my case.

*Republican as in Anti-royalist, like Wat Tyler, or Oliver Cromwell. Not George Bush.

Speaking of rested cases, can anyone imagine a plea/deal bargaining session between Parker-Bowles and the Queen?

"If I'm to marry Charles I will of course be Princess of Wales."

"Doen't be foolish, Milly. I can offer you the Duchy of Salford, and noe more."

"Salford? But he's your son! I can't be the Duchess of Salford."

"Aie visited the plaice in 1957. It seemed very naice."

"I want something bigger, or more exotic. Give me Hampshire, then."

"Not a chance. Great Grandmama's old holiday home is down there. You can have Cornwall or nothing. It's my final offer."