So, yeah.
The Patriots won the Superbowl (well done them).
I've had my first run in with private healthcare in America, in the form of an eye examination. I confess it had a different atmosphere to the comparatively sleepy practices on the Isle of Wight, and rather than settling back into the chair for fifteen minutes of subdued lighting and answering nice and simple questions like "Which is clearer: 1...or...2? Again...1...or...2?" I had to wheel out that great and stock series of responses we all keep in reserve to fend off salespeople.
Doc: "We've got this new type of contact lens you only wear when you sleep and it moulds your eye for a couple of days. Would you like some literature on it?"
Stuart: "No, I've already got double glazing, thank you."
Doc: "Er, right."
Then, a little later on, after I've resisted blinking as he placed a small orange version of what looked like 60s TV's 'The Time Tunnel' over my eye:
Doc: "So, would you consider having laser eye surgery? We've got some really very advanced technology here-"
Stuart: "Sorry, I'm perfectly happy with the gas and electricity provider I already have."
Doc:"Oh, um. Right. How about some coloured contact lenses, then?"
Stuart: "We already have a subscription to another newspaper, I'm afraid."
Doc:"How about some new frames for your glasses?"
Stuart: "We don't want cable, thanks. We have Netflix."
Doc: "A natty contact lens case, made from cubic zirconium and buffed with genuine hamsterskin?"
Stuart: "Do you know, I've never had a problem in that area? I know it's meant to happen to everyone, but never once-"
...and so on.
Krissa's parents are coming over to dinner tonight, which should round off a day of cleaning, cooking, and coffee very nicely.
The world would appear to be spinning very well these days.
Doc: "Er, right." I love how in your blog, even the New York doctors use reassuring British expressions!
An American doctor used the word "natty?" Now, are you exaggerating here?
Oh thats priceless.
Next time you go in, you ought to try and sell him some stuff he doesn't really want!! Try and convince him he needs it and that he really wants to pay the extortionate prices!! you could even take in some samples to show him..
for instance don't you just hate it when you absolutely have to remember something, so you write it on a post-it note and stick it to your fridge only to find it has blown off when you come back? Well what you need are some super-glue post-it notes!! hoorah! They'll never fall off the fridge again!
What about when you're shuffling playing cards, do you find there's always one or two that end up the wrong way up in the deck? How annoying... well, all you need are these double-sided playing cards, now they will never be the wrong way round!!
What? he wasn't interested? suggest he takes some literature on them anyway.. hand him over a pre-prepared leaflet. You might want to warn him that a couple of the ideas in it are a little absurd.. like for instance, on page 4, there's mention of a optician who seems more interested in your eyesight than how much money he can squeeze from you... bizarre..