Where His Holiness Does His Business Is His Business

Speaking of distractions, and we are, let's talk Grand Theft Auto: San Andreas.

I want to talk about the game, so if you're one of the multitude of X-Box or PC owners who are waiting for the other-platform release, and don't want to spoil it, bugger off. Or at the very least, don't read this. Don't act so affronted! This can't be any kind of a surprise. If you're still in the dark about the game, for the past year you've been sitting in the corner with your fingers in your ears humming 'La Marseillaise' VERY LOUDLY.

Go on.
Hop it.
Right.

So; San Andreas. I say I say I say.

It's extremely impressive. The virtual environment is EPIC. Really. It's huge. Enormous. Big enough that the provision of a highway system in the virtual State of San Andreas is a welcome addition. The thought of crawling around the state at the sort of pace exhibited by the background traffic in GTA3 would frustrate me beyond words.

Now I have a few gripes. They might arise because I'm a hardbitten veteran of the previous two PS2 Grand Theft Auto titles. I say 'hardbitten veteran' because I completed the story missions of both GTA3 and GTA: Vice City...and on several occasions in my life I have indeed been bitten quite hard.

Anyway. The story missions in San Andreas aren't...really...very...challenging.

Before I bought the game I drank in the online reviews and a few blog posts, and everything dealt with the sheer immensity of the game, its scope. The graphics, the increased draw distance, the gameplay, the vehicles, the freedom.
I don't think anyone really mentioned the missions.
I acknowledge that after two huge 3D games in a similar...well, nearly identical vein, the mission ideas and themes might run a little dry, and Rockstar Games have done brilliant stuff, I acknowledge this, too. But after learning the ropes of control and strategy on the other two games, this one can be a little easy, and, at the same time, a little frustrating.

In Vice City, I would save the game at the first opportunity after successfully completing a mission, and every time before a mission too, to preserve my state of health and my cache of weapons so as to have that position to start from again should I fail. I know that this is, in essence, against the spirit of the 'continous play' of the games, but this is how I went. Not religiously, just...practically, so that if I wanted to have another shot at a mission, I could - straight away. I was careful. I prepared for missions by buying weapons or casing approaches to areas I knew would be involved.

Yesterday, over a slice of toast, I wandered into one of the 'assault and steal' missions with, and I'm being honest here...no weapons or armour. I stopped, before committing myself, to wonder if I wasn't really taking it seriously, and the answer was, of course, no.
Because it's a fucking video game, isn't it?
So I had a go at it.
After running at the first yokel who came at me with a shovel, I had a weapon, albeit a bit...rural in nature. But then I used that to bonk another yokel over the head, which gave me a sort of Winchester rifle, and from that point on I was okay, braving a row of heavily armed farmers and Daisy Duke-style characters and making away with the Combine Harvester in question.
A lucky break, maybe.

But the rate at which I've made my way through the story missions has had it's drawbacks. The enormous amount of sideplay and mini-games is not freestanding. There are phases which interlock with the plot. At one point, an entire 'turf-war' style phase of the game began, where you have to try and launch assaults on different areas of your home city to gain them for your gang, wresting them from the control of other gangs. This bit of the game was a brilliant twist for me. It was new, it was different. It was non-linear, apparently random, and might develop strategically, whilst having a strong pro-active element.
But I don't know.
Because after taking over a couple of turfs (turves?), but still with the bulk of the city to be won, I did a couple of story missions, and then the turf-war period was over. Gone. Done with.
Ended.
Boo.

I could, of course, go back to a saved game, but...but...I'm ahead now! I'm movin' on.

I confess I haven't fully explored the options offered by all of the new flashy bits in San Andreas. I've played a bit of basketball at the courts, played pool at the local bar, taken delight in the ever-so-meta video games within the video game, done a few taxi runs , a few stunts, and had a confusing go at the 'Pimping' side mission. But in reality, I'm ploughing through the story missions because I want a plane.

I really, really want a plane.