I wasn't chatting to either of them today, but I'm going to steal their meme anyway...so thanks Biscuit and Krissa.
It's meant to be one of those things where you ask questions of your iPod, which it then answers with its random song choice. I don't have an iPod, but I do have iTunes with a small library. What the hell...it's not like this thing was going to be 100% accurate in the first place, right? Here goes nothing.
1. What do you think of me,
Dream Brother - Jeff Buckley
I'm going to ignore the lyrics completely and go 'Aaaah, that's nice. I feel exceptionally companiable towards you too, iTunes.'
2. Will I have a happy life?
Emergency Surgery - Gomez
'Someone call a doctor, I think I'm gonna...
someone call a doctor, I think I'm gonna...
someone call a doctor, I think I'm gonna die.'
'I need help, I need surgery. Help. Help. Help.'
Fuck you, iTunes. That's not very nice at all.
3. What do my friends really think of me?
We Are The Champions - Queen
Aaaah yeah. Now this I like the sound of.
'We are the champions, my friends.'
'And we'll keep on fighting, til the end.'
Each other? Or....oh. Not as great as I thought.
4. What does my S.O. think of me?
Oh my God.
Theme from Rawhide - Blues Brothers Soundtrack
'Rollin rollin' rollin', though the streams are swollen
keep them dogies rollin', rawhide
rain and wind and weather, hell bent for leather
wishin' my gal was by my side'
From this we can conclude that Krissa sees me as a source of leather goods, which when I consider the number of purses in our apartment, isn't too far off the truth, surely?
5. Do people secretly lust after me?
Please Take Me Home - Blink 182
'Oh no it happened again, she's cool, she's hot...she's my friend.'
That'd be a no then, although it speaks highly of the attractiveness of my friends, which is nice.
6. How can I make myself happy?
Camping Next To Water - Badly Drawn Boy
'Camping next to water
Fish infested slaughter
I feed the fishes into me
It's a misty within reason
I'm hoping I don't freeze here
I fuel the fire, I feed its glow'
Wow, that's convenient! We're going the weekend after next.
7. What should I do with my life?
Must Be Dreaming - Frou Frou
'This is the right turn wrong universe...'
Yes I know...but how do I make money out of that?
8. Why must life be so full of pain?
Fire Coming Out Of The Monkey's Head - Gorillaz
I didn't understand this song straight up - interpreting it with regard to something else involves doing more things with my head than I'm capable of.
'falling out of aeroplanes and hiding out in holes
waiting for the sunset to come people going home
jump out from behind them and shoot them in the head
now everybody dancing, the dance of the dead, the dance of the dead, the dance of the dead'
Right you are...I would hazard that iTunes is saying that life is so full of pain because some bastard keeps jumping out behind people and shooting them in the head. This is very astute. My esteem for this particular occult method is increasing.
9. How can I maximize my pleasure during sex?
Central Park - Krystle Warren
10. Can you give me some advice?
The View Belongs To Everyone - Fun Lovin' Criminals
A song about carjacking and the mafia but the beauty of the city coming through all the same? Uhm. I suppose I could take that as advice. I should embark on a life of crime but maintain a sense of aesthetics.
11. What do you think happiness is?
El esencia del guaguanco - Johnny Pacheco
Apparently, according to my iTunes, happiness is the essence of guaguanco. This is less of an answer and more just passing the buck. I hereby introduce question 11a.
11a. What do you think guaguanco is?
Bemba Colora - Celia Cruz
Off again to Google Language Tools, and apparently guaguanco is 'Bemba colora' which handily translates as 'bemba colours'.
11b. What do you think bemba is?
Chicken Out - Gomez
I think these questions have fully explained everything about life.
12. Do you have any advice to give over the next few hours/days?
Who Can You Trust? - Morcheeba
It's very funky, but it's the height of paranoia. Just who CAN I trust?
Can I trust you? I don't like this at all. WHAT DO I NEED TO TRUST PEOPLE ABOUT?
12a. What do I need to trust people about over the next few hours/days?
Maybe - Stereophonics
Maybe? Maybe what?
12b. Maybe? Maybe what?
It's a Beautiful Thing - Ocean Colour Scene
What is? The thing I maybe need to trust people about?
12c. What's a beautiful thing? The thing I need to trust people about over the next few hours/days? ANSWER ME!
Bring It On - Gomez
Are you starting? Are you starting? ARE YOU STARTING?
12d. Are you starting?
Quick Fade - Feeder
Backing down are you? Good. We got a little off topic there. Where were we?
12e. Where were we?
It's Caper Time - Italian Job Sountrack
Hardly. Oh, question 13.
13. Will I die happy?
The Sun And The Rain - Madness
That'll be yes and no, then? A mixed bag?
13a. That'll be yes and no, then? A mixed bag?
Don't Leave Me This Way - Thelma Houston
I know. I know. I don't want to end this quiz either, but we've had such good times, haven't we?
13b. I don't want to end this quiz either, but we've had such good times, haven't we?
Until My Ship Comes In - Dum Dums
Er...yes. Until then.