Weather Advisory

Citizens should be aware that New York City is currently under unusual weather conditions.
At approximately 6pm, EST on Friday, November 4th, an area of High Time Pressure moved in over the area, pushing ahead of it a front of mixing High and Low Pressure Time. This caused the unusual conditions that were universally witnessed over the weekend.

The Temporal Meteorological Office (TMO) have reported that according to their instruments Time was flowing past the city unusually fast.

Using the "LUCKY T" apparatus, which stands for Large Underground ClocKY Thing, (and which is so far the only scientific equipment capable of measuring the speed of Time) Time passing across the city did not drop below a rate of three hours per hour for the entire weekend, with gusts of up to four and a half hours per hour.
City residents reported a range of tragic stories:

"I left my building a little after one in the afternoon, and it's only two blocks to the laundromat," said one LES resident, "but when I got back it was six o'clock. I missed my siesta."
"I dropped off little Sally for her morning playdate on the dot of ten and took the 2/3 to my brunch date, but he'd left by the time I arrived, and all of a sudden it was four in the afternoon! Where did the time go?"
"I put a couple of slices of leftover pizza in the oven, man, and watched a commercial break. By the time I got back into the kitchen the oven had melted through the floor and was plunging through my downstairs neighbour's dining room table."

The front of turbulently mixing High and Low Pressure Time has now passed the area, and a system of Extremely Low Pressure Time has now taken up station over the city, meaning that the first day of the working week is anticipated to last at least 78 hours.

All the Time you lost over the weekend, you're getting back today.

So that's okay then.