Man, but do I feel like assmonkeys.
Monday was a 'Here comes the COLD!' day in much the same way that ga-ga mothers sing 'Here comes the AEROPLANE!' with a spoon en route to their little dinkum's mouth.
I was fully aware of every encroaching second. I stood up from eating lunch and realized I had a sore throat, an hour later I was full of goo, two hours after that I was getting achey, three hours after that I was running a fever.
Imagine an attentive class of virus cells, green and gloopy, listening as a big teacher virus demonstrates at a small blackboard.
"First go for the throat, after that we have the climb to the nasal cavity, then I want all of you to proliferate wildly and generally cause as much of a nuisance as you can. Any questions? Molesworth."
"Sir sir sir, I want to mutate. Are mutations allowed today sir?"
"Do you have a note?"
"Well no. Mum can't write, sir."
I slept yesterday until 2.30 in the afternoon and spent the rest of the day mooching around reading, dozing, and finding things to do in San Andreas (I completed the story missions last week) and fell asleep after a mini Buffy-marathon with Krissa in the evening.
The auditions on Sunday went very well, I thought. I didn't audition last year, and it turns out that auditions are a lot of fun. At rehearsals your part is set, and you just keep trying to remember your lines, try a new angle, a new tone, a different gesture as the opportunity goes by or whatever, but at rehearsals I got to play all sorts of parts: dukes, lords, lovers, clowns...it was cool.
Also, I got a much bigger part this year than I had last summer. Last summer I was Snout the Tinker in A Midsummer Nights' Dream, which was easy after a fashion as a large part of my role entailed standing still with a fake brick strapped to my head while "pretending" to be a bad actor. And I had about five lines.
This year I have two parts.
As You Like It is split between the forest and the town. In town, a grouchy evil Duke has deposed his elder brother, who lives in the forest in exile. People wrestle, fall in love, cross-dress, and move between the forest and the town in a tight little jig of love, lust, falls from grace and restorations to fortune. There are feisty maidens, witty clowns, and six metric fuckloads of hey nonny nonny.
I play both Dukes...which could be interesting.
I have an almost religious faith in the director, and costume changes can make up for a lot, but I've reread the play looking for my lines and there are two scene changes where I have the last line in one scene as one Duke, and the first line in the next scene as the other Duke.
I'm not sure I can move that fast.
Sorry to hear about the cold, I'm not sure what assmonkeys feels like, but if it's anything like monkey's ass it can't be very pleasant. Get well soon :)
Sorry to read of the cold, but if there's a silver lining to be found, may I offer it?
"Man, but do I feel like assmonkeys" is by far one of the best opening sentences to an entry I've read in a long, long time.
Optimism, anyone?
The Dukes of Hazzard seemed to be able to move pretty quickly?
What, there's no General Lee in As you like it?
Shan't be coming to watch, then*...
* unless any of the feisty maidens look like Daisy?
Finding things to do in San Andreas was up until recently a regular pastime of mine. In my second playthrough, I'm now up to 97.something% complete, and will stay at that level until I unpack my Xbox and other gamesy things from the box they are in, when I move into my new house. I will blog my 100% completion, I think, as it's quite an achievement, unless I've something better to blog that day/week/month.
My favourite thing to do in recent times has been to grab a minigun, go to the airstrip in the desert, and start blowing shit up. I generally have stop a minute or two after the tanks start arriving, but it's great fun shooting down helicopters before that happens.
* runs and hides from Matt *
(twice)
Where'd you get the minigun from, Matt?