On The Other Side Of The Fence

Jobs I'm glad I don't have (after Jack's lists):

Rhinoplasterer
Rhinoplasty: The high-adrenalin task of filling in and smoothing over all the creases on rhinoceroses. With plaster.
Why this would be bad: constant grass stains on your work clothes

Apologist
Specialised speech writer for politicians, celebrities and religious leaders.
Why this would be bad: getting to know precisely how much fun your client had while writing the apology

Dumbwaiter
Taking food to different floors in a thin narrow lift shaft in old buildings.
Why this would be bad: not being able to talk to all the interesting people, the temptation to help yourself to the food, lack of maintenance

Ninja
Ghost warrior. Silent, shadowy swift denizen of the night, deadly as a snake, twice as limber.
Why this would be bad: rice diet, no freedom to break wind during stealthy assassinations

Generic Businessman
Bowler hat and umbrella. Sit at desk at 9am, do business, go home at 5pm. Repeat for forty years.
Why this would be bad: never knowing what's meant by just 'business' and being afraid to ask

Doorman
Average Joe by day, Doorman by night.
Why this would be bad: preferring your human identity to your superhero one

Snake Charmer
Talking down pissed off lethal creatures. Stopping snakes that are mad at the world from doing something they'll regret when they've calmed down.
Why this would be bad: mornings when you're hungover, avoiding the snakes' phone calls and emails for months after negotiations are over and they're hoping for a continuing relationship